“I think I want therapy, but I’m not quite ready.”

Welcome. You are wrestling with the initial thoughts of nearly every single person out there who is toying with the idea of engaging with therapy. Therapeutic readiness is no easy thing to define. There are a multitude of things to consider: timing, cost, the therapist, what you have to talk about, how things feel after a session; the list goes on. I wish I could share with you a magic algorithm or YouTube video to answer this question, but I can’t. Like so many things, therapy falls into an avenue in which one will benefit from “just starting.” We can easily get lost in the over analysis of making a decision like this. You will know when you are ready. Your mind and body will give you the cues. And, if you jump in and find it wasn’t the right time, know that I’d commend you for your courage! Take a break and reflect on your next attempt. Feel free to reach out to me on this topic so that I might be able to engage with you more deeply on the matter.

“How do I suggest therapy to a loved one, or someone that I care deeply about, in a compassionate way?”

It is most certainly not your fault, nor mine, that a stigma persists even today about therapy. The thoughts that come up when we want to suggest a friend or relative to seek out therapy often comes down to, “They might think I’m calling them crazy. They’re too much and they just need professional help.” The latter may have shreds of truth, but we can easily get wrapped up in our desire to fix the problems of those close to us. So wrapped up, in fact, that we can become easily irritated, dissociative, or avoidant when the issues persist. My suggestion here is this: connect first, always. A message will always lands softer and more compassionate when you lead with love, connection, and the desire for your loved one’s best intentions. "You need help! Go see someone!” is going to land much differently than sitting someone down, or taking their hand and sharing, “I’ve seen it. You have really been struggling. I want nothing more than to take this away for you. That’s simply not something I can do. I think, in this season of your life, you might really benefit from the help of a mental health professional.” Be open to some push-back, but be confident in your ability to connect compassionately and that they can see you truly bearing your desire for their healing.

Good luck. They’re so very fortunate to have someone like you in their life.

“If I’m waiting to jump into therapy, what are some concrete things I can try in the mean time?”

I believe that anyone can find themself a coping skill. If you were to Google “coping skills for anxiety”, you’ll get common laundry lists of things that are most certainly helpful. As a parts oriented therapist, I align with these coping skills, but would suggest another slightly different approach. Quite simply, I’d encourage someone to start saying, “Hello!” to the thoughts and feelings they have some judgements towards. Nothing more. Just a greeting! In my lens, this simple Hello creates a bit of a mental barrier. No longer is this just anger, but instead, a part of you that is angry. No longer is this anxiety about going into work, but a part of you that has concerns about deadlines and coworkers. That tiny greeting serves as a way to think differently about the issue for just a split second. You may still follow through with whatever helps relieve the anger, anxiety, or whatever it may be. However, you at least gave it a shot to try and see this from a different, more open perspective.

“What if I don’t like my therapist, or they simply don’t feel like the right fit?”

First, this is not an uncommon concern. You are never bound to your current therapist. You posses the autonomy to do whatever is required for your own healing. My first suggestion would be to give the process, minimally, 6 to 8 sessions with that therapist. If after that time there is still a feeling of unease, disconnectedness, lack of certainty, etc., I’d suggest you bring that to your therapist. A good therapist is going to take information like that in and process it with you in a compassionate way. They’ll desire to find a way to better fine tune the process for you.

As said before, you do possess the freedom to simply end your therapy with that provider.

This is a frequently asked question?

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

This is a frequently asked question?

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.